You Can’t Force It

We are always trying to make things happen. I know I am. But deep down, we know that there’s a small voice telling us we shouldn’t be. I have learned a vital thing in my short years here on earth:

Don’t force things to happen. Let things happen.

You’ve heard the old analogy– don’t try to fit a square peg into a circle hole. We have all been in different situations where we bear down, put our nose to the grindstone, and determine that this or that is going to work. Don’t get me wrong, nothing is bad about determination and a will to try. But there is a fine line between dedication and force.

I don’t mean stop attempting, struggling, and pursuing. Again, don’t take me the wrong way. Parents need to force their children to learn to obey. Individuals need to force themselves to morality.  If you have made a commitment or a covenant, you have bound yourself to that truth. You, in turn, need to force yourself to stay with that promise you made.

I do mean to stop forcing things. Let things unfold.

We all know of these situations where we try to control things and coerce things how we want them. A dating couple is experiencing problems; he doesn’t “love her back.” So instead of breaking up with her boyfriend, she tries to mislead, persuade, threaten, intimidate, and blackmail him. (Please note the relationship I used there, because a marriage is another post altogether.) Say an employee doesn’t respect the boss’s opinion. Instead of accepting that and moving on, the boss tries to bully, threaten, and insult the worker. Maybe, in either situation, the people eventually get their way. But it won’t fulfill them.

Here’s why:

When we use force, we are trying to guilt and shame people into doing things. We are counting on fear and anxiety making them act. It is not free will. We are clinging to taking, instead of seeking true giving. If something is not really given, we don’t really have it, do we? Love is not truly love when it’s forced. The action is corrupted. It contains no reward. The very act of forcing things not to be given freely can only ever tell you that you, the real you, was inadequate to be worthy of them in the first place. If you had to force them, you weren’t truly worthy of them.

By not forcing, freedom is created. Whatever we force to happen can’t really contain any meaning for us. It is empty, corrupted, and impure. That’s why I say to let things happen. Give freedom in every intention and action.

Through force, you can never truly find what you are looking for. Without force, what you are looking for will naturally find you! In freedom, there is peace. In peace, there is truth.

Ever wonder why God gives free will? He understands these concepts. He knows obedience without choice is not obedience. He knows love without free will is nothing like love. He knows a forced relationship is not a relationship anyone wants. For that reason, salvation is a gift to be taken.

The key, I believe, is to surrender. Instead of attempting to orchestrate everything around us or plan everything perfectly, we should open ourselves up to whatever God has in store. By doing that, we can let things happen instead of trying to make things happen. Butterflies, flower buds, and babies in the womb don’t fight to grow into what they are– they simply unfold. Perhaps our lives are meant to unfold in the exact same fashion.


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